New paths and our inner voice

Taking a new path in life can take many forms – a new career, the end of a relationship, resolutions to live differently or to cast off habitual unhelpful choices. People often come to see me when they are stuck at a crossroads. They may be uncomfortable in a relationship or career, they may feel that their own life doesn’t fit them anymore, they may be reeling after the life they knew has come to an abrupt end. They are often tired, confused, worried, and they cannot see a clear path forward.

Obviously, I cannot tell them what path to take, or at least it would not be helpful for me to attempt such a thing. But I believe that we all have enough within us to guide us if we are supported and able to explore. The Sufi mystic and poet Rumi once wrote,

‘Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.

It will not lead you astray.’

Not all of us have been taught how to listen to our inner voice. In fact we have often been told that it doesn’t really matter what we feel, or that our desires are probably shameful or selfish. Listening to our inner voice is often, though not always, especially difficult for women who live in a society that still holds up self-sacrifice as the ultimate feminine virtue and where many women take on the bulk of looking to the needs of close and extended family. However, in therapy we get to explore our desires and find a way back to listening to our inner voice.